I spend a lot of time thinking. and lately, a lot of time trying not to think. but it doesn't work. because the more I try to not think, the more guilty i start to feel and end up thinking even more.

some people are inspired. others inspire.

random thought. is it arrogant? pretentious? is it sickening? or is it idealistic?

lots of lonely people out there. lots of people needing to have their voice somehow heard, even if they've really got nothing to say. can you put a message in a bottle but not float it out to sea? is that message still a message if no one is reading it or is even invited to read it? isn't that arrogant? pretentious?

sex. sometime soon I'm either going to get incredibly ravenous, or I will just become so apathetiic to it all that I won't even remember or care to remember how that thing plays into life? for now, numb. it's easier that way. baby steps. soon I'll let myself feel the pangs. but for now it's good to be numb. I think.

lots of lonely people. too many, if you ask me. there must be more to life than this. untwist. fucking mind. stop knotting yourself up.